Calcified

I tend to forget all the things available to me now:

The curl inside comforts, gifts from god(dess)

Muses / elixirs / flavors / sensations

Beautiful faces, bare skin, zaftig cheeks

Innocence free to delight in clean air

Aesthetic delight and kinesthetic pleasure

The rhythm of rain and little feet

The wine the butter the bread the wine

The sun, the steadfastness of its shine

The earth, the faithfulness of its spin

Our hearts, how they vibrate together

Our eyes, how they see color

Our ears, how they hear voices. //

I am human being, human doing

The dervish of life, years purling by

Experiences stacked like layers of dirt

We reach forth, we dig deeper. We hit

The crusted layers . We stab at the impasse

We grow tired of learning the same lessons until

We discover we are not calcified in every direction. 

Invisible cloak

My heart swings open.

They climb inside

Squirm

Get comfortable

It sounds like

The womb

Smells like

Heaven

Looks like

Beauty

Feels like

Somewhere hurt can't find

An invisible cloak

Of soft supple folds

Bound together

With a sheath of power

A gauzy squeeze

Ripped with bruises

Grasping

Gasping

For time

All they do is grow

Bloom

They are never the same

From one minute

To the next.

Neither am I.

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Kaleidoscope

My girls need me.

They need me to pay attention, soothe, be steadfast.

But I am erratic.

My attention is scattered in piles like fallen leaves in the autumn.

Cayenne crimson, turmeric orange, ginger yellow.

The colors of my temper, spicy like the evil twin

who lives somewhere in my head not heart.

The earth spins and the leaves die and

emotions run like wild horses and

no one can control any of it.

I see it in my daughter.

Four years-old with emotions loud as a train wreck.

She opens up her heart when its bursting and

spills her frustrations all over the universe.

Like fallen leaves in the autumn.

More than I am angry I am glad

She expresses herself with the freedom of a person who is safe.

Wild horses do not thrive in cages or in crowds.

But in wide open spaces

our emotions have room to dance and turn

an ever-shifting kaleidoscope

its beauty a product of all the colors.

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Unfurling

She opens to this plane of being

Unfurling unfolding uncurling

Like the spiral of hair on the crown of her head

She stretches her limbs longer today than yesterday

Grabbing and kicking at an understanding

Of what it means to exist

Here and now.

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Infinite tunnel

Everyday I open to the love that pulses through my veins

A love that comes from unfathomable depths through infinite tunnels

I fear this love will turn me mad and still, I love on

An interesting shade of beauty shines with messy precision

I cannot conquer the messes nor match the precision

Either I open to this beauty and it trickles through me

Infusing everything I feel, say, touch, hear and do

Or the beauty paralyzes me

I can't move lest everything fall to pieces

Opening contracting closing

Closing is part of the opening.

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Opening

Opening to the tightness in my hips the weakness in my shoulders the strength in my legs /

Surrendering to the hormones in my blood the softness in my belly the crookedness of my spine /

Embracing the milk in my breasts the asymmetry of my face the truth in my smile /

Seeing light through my eyes hope through my words the future through my children.

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Midnight possibility

The nightsThey burn My eyes Open Midnight possibility I dip into dreams That stop without Ending Until I give in to day An empty wakefulness

Tied up tangled

My hair so often left behind

Long & dirty

Tied up tangled

Unhidden strands of silver.

Today

I let the curling iron burn waves into the broken ends

While music rolled through

My belly

And the baby watched and I danced.

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